1) "Why don't you just forget about it and get on with your life?'
People want to believe that life is safe as long as one follows the rules. Many people believe that if something bad happens to someone, they probably deserved it. People like this logic because it makes life feel safe and predictable. So, if someone is complaining they must have 1) deserved what happened to them, and are 2) trying to get attention and/or money. The people who ask me this question seem to have this simplistic view on life.
2) "Why don't you take that thing off your nose? I think you can get used to the pain."
The pain is similar to a punch in the nose. If you've ever been struck in the nose, you know that it is a pain that would be impossible to get used to. My nose becomes restricted due to the collapsing.
3) Have you tried not wearing it?
I sure wasn't wearing it for three months after surgery! When the tape begins to loosen after 12 hours, the support begins to slacken, and the symptoms start to come back. To keep the symtoms under control I often change the tape twice a day. I must wash tape goo off my nose and assemble the splint again with fresh tape each time. I have to carry a bag with the supplies to do this every where I go. I doubt the doctor is feeling any inconvenience about how he did this surgery!
MY COMMENTS NOW
1) The effect of writing this website.
Putting together this web page like turning over an icky slimy rock. Doctors are supposed to be good, powerful healers. I think I know something about how a rape victim feels. I have been invaded, without my permission, by someone I expected to be able to trust.2) For those people who ask why I don't "just forget about it and get on with life."
It's from childhood that you assume doctors must be powerful to cure things. That is likely a motivation for many to become doctors. As adults, some doctors protect that self-image at the expense of the patient. Everything gets backwards, that means the doctor is "corrupt". Corrupt means unreal, untruthful. Today in order to get help, and not remain a victim, my only available path of action is to post my personal medical information on the Internet in the hope of locating someone who can fix the wrong thing done to me, done not by nature or accident, but by a doctor. My effort to help myself can potentially "expose a powerful person". These same powerful people have tried to reflect shame back onto me. I am not the shameful person here.
Initially there was a darkness about writing this - I grew up while being told adults take responsibility for their actions and fix what they've done wrong. Most of my experience with small businesses and department stores has shown them to be honorable. Was I naive? You bet! I didn't get a second opinion, I didn't ask around if anyone had surgery from this doctor, I just plain "trusted". I have now spent considerable effort, time, and my own money trying to locate someone who will help me, but I have been confronted with a club that protects its members. The doctor who did this no doubt believes I have already faded away. I'm sure that others have helpfully coached him about how to make me go away. The main priority is obviously protecting professional image. Of all the things one can do to ruin one's image, skipping out on a responsibility that you have incurred by a mistaken deed should certainly tarnish your image. But not in the medical world, where ethics seem to be turned upside down, and held upside down by the powerful corruption in the medical culture..
The Septoplasty operation is an elective procedure. There was no emergency. I could have chosen to go the rest of my life without having the surgery. It was entirely up to me to have the operation or not to have it based on the information given to me by the doctor. There was plenty of time for me to decide. I therefore deserve all the information that might affect my decision to have the operation, to not have it, or to choose another doctor. When you go to surgery you don't sign over your physical body like property for the doctor to do whatever he wants with.
I had done my research on the Internet. The doctor also described the procedure in basically the same way as I had read about on the Internet. He told me it was a very routine operation with very small risk. He told me he had been doing these surgeries for about 15 years. Based on these statements, it was easy to assume I would be taken care of as described.
The doctor may have consciously thought he was making an improvement during surgery, but this is not an improvement - I would never agree to this, and the result is permanent injury. The result is the same as an injury done on purpose. I must wear a strange looking prosthesis on my nose, probably for the rest of my life! I turn down social engagements because of it. The basic trust in doctors that anyone should have is hate bordering on paranoia.
I can never assume I will not become an unwilling subject for something done on a surgeons whim, now irreversible, a "surprise" for me. Does our system allow doctors to experiment on paying patients without their permission, even for an elective procedure? The answer seems to be yes. I have a life-time mutilation that the doctor likely will get away with.